Kasinungalingan

NEVER REACT EMOTIONALLY TO A LIE

Every lie will hurt. In some cases, they will hurt deeply. And you will have strong emotional reactions to a lie. But there needs to be a point where you step outside the pain and look at it objectively. Anger, rage, or any sort of emotional reaction will only verify to the other person the need to lie in the first place.

If a wife knew of her husband's jealousy issue and lied about a brief conversation she had with another man, even an innocent one, and her husband caught her at the lie and became furious, it will only verify to her that she just needs to be more careful about her future lies.

Take time to settle down before addressing the lie. You may need to pretend that the lie was told to someone else, not you. You need to be somewhat objective before you can do anything about it.

YOU MUST CONFRONT THE LIE IN A CALM RATIONAL MANNER

A lie cannot go unaddressed. With that in mind, you need to know that the end result will never be satisfying to you. You won't leave a conversation about a lie feeling good or at ease. It's just the nature of the beast.

Your goal is to demonstrate maturity and rationalization in front of the person that lied to you. You want to get them to realize that lying to you was not only unnecessary, but a complete waste of time.

It may be that you need to get some counseling, but the person who lied to you won't even consider it if you aren't calm and rational. You need to talk. You need to describe your fears about potential problems that the lie produces. There is no need to say things like:

• How could you lie to me!
• How dare you!
• You lying pig (or other worthless expletive)!
• I hate you!

These things accomplish nothing. Instead, you need to talk about where you see the lie taking you and your fears of going there. Do your best to get the other person to realize that his lie has consequences they never dreamed about. You can even talk about what your feelings might make you think and do in the future.

Again, all this needs to be done calmly and rationally.

YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WERE LIED TO

The basic reasons why people lie are these:

• To get out of trouble.
• To gain something.
• Because they fear something.
• To be thought of better.
• To hurt someone.

There are others, but these are the most common. In dealing with a lie, it is important to try and find out why you were lied to. Did they fear your reaction? Were they trying to hide something they knew you wouldn't approve of? Were they trying to get you to think better about them? Did they know they would get in trouble if they spoke the truth? Were they just trying to hurt you?

The reason for the lie will give you insight into their character and thinking. If someone was just trying to get me to think more highly of him or her, I'd be much more inclined to dismiss the lie. But if they were trying to hurt me with the lie, it would be much tougher to trust and dismiss it.

So try and figure out why you were lied to. You aren't necessarily even looking for specifics of a particular lie. Rather you just want to know the purpose of the lie, what they were trying to accomplish.

A fear can be easily dealt with by a loving friend, parent, or spouse. But anger and selfishness are two more complicated problems. Knowing why will help you in what you can do.

FIND A WAY TO FORGIVE THE LIE

I didn't say that you had to find a way to trust again. Forgiveness will release you from the pain and burden of the lie. If you can't forgive, you'll carry a burden much too heavy to carry. It will cripple you emotionally and prevent you from having any strength to actually fix the relationship.

Forgiveness is for you, not the person that lied to you. You forgive them so that you can deal with the situation and hopefully grow beyond it.

(How to Handle Being Lied To)



Hunny

“Does being on the same wavelength guarantee happiness and long last relationship? How important is intellectual compatibility?”

This is my Facebook Status an hour ago. Started when I received an email from my partner, stating his feelings toward issues about us, and this questions popped into my mind.

Is being on the same page with your partner significant? The answer, Maybe Yes, Maybe No! Depends on the degree of understanding of a person.

What I think is that two people don't need to be of the same intelligence to be compatible! Yes it has bearing, but it is not the basic criteria. And a perfect example is me and my partner! We are so not on the same wavelength almost ever! He is much more intelligent than me by far, BUT, He doesn’t throw that in my face. I am not anywhere in his league when it comes to intelligence and I think he knows that.  He would never make fun of me because he really want me to learn! It sometime is too much of a challenge for him to make me more intelligent. We don't over power each other. if he does not know something about a certain matter he ask me and if I don't know anything about the field that he has knowledge then I ask him. He just letting me be what I am and just love me that way, I know that…I just do! I love every aspect of him, thats what important!

Type of intelligence do not matter so much as long as one can communicate. Perfect synchronization is the key. “One can go play video games while the other one is reading novels.” Either way, as long as you're talking with each other, doesn't really matter who's smarter. What happened to the theory “Opposites attract”? When we have a personal problem, we need someone who can understand us. It all depends on how you work together as a couple. You need to accept even the tiniest imperfection.

Don't you think that if love exist, exist everything?

When there is love everything falls into the right places. If the one is weak one should stand tall, so the relationship will not fall apart. If love exist there is no dumb nor intelligent, you both learn to appreciate what is there and share it.

Tagay

Bakit ka umiinom ng alak?

Dahil ba sa impluwensiya ng barkada?

Dahil kasama na ito sa sistema mo?

For celebration lang!

Dahil sa sobrang kalungkutan.

Napilitan dahil sa pakikisama.

Dahil may balak.

Basta ako, UMIINOM AKO NG ALAK DAHIL....

May gustong gawin o sabihin na hindi magawa tuwing ako ay nasa katinuan.  

Gaya nito.... LoL

Bago

2011


Umpisa


Yosi


Kape


Nakaupo


Nakatambay


Nag-Iinternet


Nag-Iisip


Pagbabago


Paglilista


Bagong-Taon


Metal na Kuneho


Resolution


Wala


Blangko 


Paulit-Ulit


Nakakasawa


Kalokohan


Walang Katotohanan

.........................

Wala lang. Nagsawa na lang ako siguro. Mas maganda pa siguro eh ang umpisahan kong gawin ay ilista ang goals at plans ko sa taong ito, para pag natapos ang 2011 eh malalaman ko kung nagawa ko nga ba ang mga ito. Sa tingin ko mas madali itong ma-accomplish dahil objective; hindi tulad ng ugali na masyadong subjective kaya siguro mahirap baguhin.

Yun na!

Reborn

Hi, its been a couple of months since I last visit my blog site, so preoccupied with so many things. From work to personal matters.

I did not have any plans to give an update anytime soon, but after reading the article, which I am going to share with you!, my bloggero-side start to pump again.

Here's the article:

Is it truly possible to be in love with two people at the same time? or is that just something people say when they're afraid to admit how they truly feel, or are scared to say they don't love their partner anymore? I always thought that it wasn't possible, and that if you truly had feelings of love for one person, then you couldn't possibly share those feelings with another. and if you did, that obviously meant you must not have loved the other person, or don't anymore...... 


If you are finding yourself torn between two men, this can be a very tough time for you. You will have a lot of questions that you are going to have to ask yourself and take the time to carefully sort through them to figure out what is right for you. This is going to be something that you will have to address because it is not a healthy relationship to have.


You will have to decide if what you are doing is good for you. Is it possible for you to have a healthy and loving relationship with two men at the same time? Are you going to be able to choose one over the other? These are things that you have to think about and then you have to think about them some more. You can be in love with two men at one time, but it is not something that you can act upon without getting yourself hurt.


Top reasons why we can fall in love with two people at the same time


It is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time. When you find that you are having feelings for two people at the same time, this can be a very difficult time. You may be having some feelings of love in the same way for these two people. This is going to be something that you will have to lay out on the table in front of you so that you can see where your feelings are coming from.


It is possible to be in a loving relationship and still find yourself having feelings for someone else. This is completely normal and it may just be temporary. Maybe this other person has done something nice for you or has shown you some kind of interest for one reason or another. This may trigger some emotional feelings towards this person and you may not understand why or how you can stop them.


There may be two people that are so very different from each other but for some reason they both have caught your attention and you like them for separate reasons. This is possible and you will have to come to terms with which one is going to be better for you. You must think about your feelings for both people and why you are having these feelings.


How do I determine which one is the right mate for me?


You may wander how you are ever going to decide between the two people. You will have to figure out which person is right for you. This will take a lot of thinking on your part. You will have to figure out what it is you want to have in life. What type of life do you want and which person will be better for you. You will have to spend some time with both of the people so that you can better determine which person you have more of a connection with. 


Attraction is the main reason why people want to be together. They may have some sort of physical or emotional attraction for the other person. When this is the case, you have to dig down deeper and find out if there is another reason why you are so infatuated with this person. You will need to spend time together talking and finding out about one another so that you can better determine who is going to be best for you.


How do I make a wise decision without hurting both of them?


If you think that it is best to be open with both of the people that you are attracted to, you may find that this will end both relationships. Some may not take the news that you are in love with two people very well and they may decide to make the decision for you by ending it. If this is the case, you may have some relief knowing that the problem has now been solved and even though it is over, you may feel a little more relieved. This feeling may be one that you have anticipated for a long time.


There are some people that just decide it is impossible to choose between the two and it is a wise choice to let them both go. This is going to be a hard decision to make; however, in some cases, it is the only possible outcome. You cannot string someone along and make him or her wait for you because you cannot make up your mind. You may have a strong connection with both partners, but you know that it is wrong and you have to do the right thing. 


The main thing that you need to remember is that you have to do what is best for you. It is important to make sure that you have your best interest in mind. You need to put yourself ahead of anyone else so that you can have it all and make all of your dreams come true.

Want to experience real Love? Experience God's unconditional Love


After reading this, I will be busy again writing what I am thinking! Till next.....