Its my B-Day!

Looking back, I have a few things that I am thankful for:

• I was in a relationship which lasted for 3 months (wtf), dami ko natutunan at una talaga ito sa list!;
• I got to know who my real friends are, I have only few, but I am sure that they are true;
• I have surrendered myself to a higher being (but not consistently going to church every Sunday);
• I realized that I can do so much more if I just stop worrying about so many things;
• I learned the value of money (tipidity);
• The value of my family;
• Know what my priorities are;
• Learned how to say No!;
• Started my own Blog and Rant;
• My new work, and new officemates to bond with;
• New hobby (watching good films);
• Read more books;
• Read something in the Wikipedia (kaloka!);
• Life is not easy but I have enough strength to deal with it;
• Learned to be more mature in so many ways;
• Etc… too many to mention pala

So, I am now 25…. Pak!

CineMan Presents—Pride & Prejudice

Main Cast:

Keira Knightley—Elizabeth Bennet
Matthew Macfadyen—Mr. Darcy



The story is based on Jane Austen's novel about five Bennet sisters - the beautiful Jane, the clever Elizabeth, the bookish Mary, the immature Kitty and the wild Lydia. - in Georgian England. All of them have been raised by their mother with one purpose in life: finding a husband. It is a humorous story of love and life among English gentility during the Georgian era. Mr. Bennet is an English gentleman living in Hartfordshire with his overbearing wife. Unfortunately for the Bennets, if Mr. Bennet dies their house will be inherited by a distant cousin whom they have never met, so the family's future happiness and security is dependent on the daughters making good marriages. Life is uneventful until the arrival in the neighbourhood of the rich gentleman Mr. Bingley, who rents a large house so he can spend the summer in the country. Mr. Bingley brings with him his sister and the dashing (and richer) but proud Mr. Darcy. Love is soon in the air for one of the Bennet sisters, while another may have jumped to a hasty prejudgment. For the Bennet sisters many trials and tribulations stand between them and their happiness, including class, gossip and scandal.

I find this movie truthful.

We are often judge someone because of what other people saying about them. And, we usually hide what we really feel because of our foolish pride.

It is true that the carefully controlled and chess-like movements of polite society often conceal passionate hearts, keen minds, and rebellious wills. But high-spirited Elizabeth Bennet attempts to stay true to her ideals while her meddlesome mother schemes to get all five Bennet sisters married and to secure their family's fate at all costs. She refuses to abandon her independent and had scrutinizing ways to find true love and a faithful heart.

Pride and Prejudice is a wonderful movie. I love it because it is light, ironic, and straightforward. It will be popular always (because of the book), it is not just a love story, and it is full of criticism of the society and people who only play before each other and judge by appearances.

So I guess “Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can’t be without.”

Bury

It was in the office, during miracle time that I was Idle, when I drowned in a deep state of contemplating. Hearing the sounds of keyboards, printers and paper shredders, the momentary chikahan while everyone working and trying to reach their deadlines.

You can see me in my area, in a corner were I found solace next to home, quiet, reserved on my spot, alone, I was reading this quotation that says…

“It hurts to breathe because every breath I take proves I can't live without you. To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears. The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. The stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again. The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. Love is unconditional, relationships are not. For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.”

Then memories attack me… like a defenseless child… accepting all the attack and cannot hit back!

I wonder, Why is it hard for me to forget and move on with my life? Is it because I'm hopeless romantic? Is it because I am TRULY IN LOVE WITH TRUE LOVE. That I will do anything to be with the person I love. Is it because I'm emotional? That I believe in fairy tales, in happy endings…Darn for this sentimental dreamer attitude. I'm a guy for crying out loud! There were no days that passed that I never thought of that ghost... Why do can't I forget him? That memoirs will be like just a cigarette smoke, you will take in, after a moment, you will take out… We've only been together for just 3 freaking months! Is it the Sex? Is it because he was the one that I wanted? Or is it because that I was just really in love with him... I keep telling myself that this will pass, this is just part of life… But it's been couple of months already and his face still lingers in my mind... I tried to think of the things that I didn't like about him: He had a weird way of looking at things, doesn't believe in God and His works, a person with bad attitude and personality... But why can't I forget about him?!? I have a busy and decent job in a BPO company, , a very, very busy task, but still... Why can't I forget about him?!? I'm so fucked up! I keep on telling my friends that I am okay, making myself believe that I am, but honestly I am not, I am still broken inside…..

No one really understand how does it felt... Apathetically saying unhelpful things. I cannot blame them!

Its really crazy to figure why it turn out like that. As they say, things happen for a reason. I may not understand it right now but as time goes by, I know, I am going to find out why...Me, myself, I felt so empty. I don’t know how to start my life again without him because every time I tried to forget him, I just end up missing him. I just let my heart get tired maybe that’s the first thing to do. and that is what I am doing right now—wait till my heart give up.

A confidant once told me that “You fell in love friend, control it again and who knows, you might get luckier the next time around, It is okay to never forget these things, because they are a part of the element of who you are. they are slice of the puzzle that make up your story, and throwing away any of those pieces altogether would take away the magnificence of the final picture. one day, this list won't be as unsullied in your mind, and won't sting as badly when you think about each thing.”

Basically the only thing I'm doing is, “avoiding” contact with the person, putting memories into a box and just seeing any places that we ever went to as "just a place". And now the only thing I have left to do is...pretend the pillow I am hugging every night is nothing BUT a pillow I hug to keep me warm... Restraining memories isn't a fun thing to do. We probably just do it because we believe it'll remove the "hurt" we feel after we've broken up.

“In my opinion, I like to carry the pieces of loves past with me inside as a memento of who I was at that point in time, and all of the ways that I’ve changed since then. while I hope to find the comfort that time brings, know that I do still understand how badly it hurts. I still have trouble forgetting the way that certain past loves made me feel, but then I ask myself: why forget? keep it as a part of me, but don't let that be a hindrance from moving forward.”

“Maaring nasa purgatoryo pa ang Ghost na yun, hindi na ko makapaghintay na kunin na siya ng liwanag at tuluyang makatawid sa dako pa roon.”

---- Blink, Blink, nagising ako sa malalim na pag iisip dahil sa kulay orange na kumukuti-kutitaptitap sa Task Bar ng monitor ko, Si boss pala at may Job na ako….

No to Exercise!

Im not pertaining to the EXERCISE thing.. You know the hours in Gym, its not about that—DISCLAIMER Alert!

Its about doing practices in order for the operators to refresh their mind with the standards of the client.

Oo, cge na para sa ikakabuti ng buong team ang mga exercises na ito, mabuti sana kaso nakakabad trip lalo na sa mga Graveyard Shift na katulad ko ang mag-stay ng tatlo hanggang apat na oras sa office para lamang matapos ang 5 exercises at umabot sa itinakdang palugit, spell H-A-S-S-L-E, (we were instructed to do the exercises during our idle time, hello thats sooooooooo impossible, usually large volume of jobs are coming during our shift, Kaya tama: Idle is next to miracle!), isama mo pa na sa pag-uwi mo, nakasimagot na SUNshine Dizon ang sasalubong sau paglabas mo ng building... Nagkapatong-patong na init ng ulo ko... Grabe talaga!

Baka nga naman sa init, antok, puyat na din, gutom, at pagod ako nabwisit ng todo...

Pero sa ngayon “I Say No to Exercise” muna!

(mamaya lang iba na pananaw ko paggising ko, tulog lang talaga siguro ang hanap ko! LoL)

Restday Off

Usually during my restdays, gumigimik ako, lumalabas, hang-out with friends, paumagahan sa pag-inom at pagsasaya, nakagawain ko na yun, binatang-binata ang drama. May hang-over pa din kasi ng college attitude. Pero napansin ko habang tumatagal nag-iiba na, madalas mas gusto ko na nasa bahay na lang, mag movie marathon, mag-internet, magbasa ng libro, pakainin ng impormasyon ang utak ko....

Tumatanda na ba ako? Growing-up kumbaga, nakakasawa din pala kung paulit-ulit yung mga ginagawa mo, Yung tipong walang bago, iinom at magpapakalunod ka sa alak pag-alis mo, pag-uwi isusuka mo, at isusumpa mo ang lahat ng alak na nainom mo, hahaha
Mag-ipon ka! yan ang madalas ipaalala sa akin ng mga magulang ko, ngayon ko lang narerealize ang halaga ng mga paalala nila, naisip ko, yung mga nagastos ko sa every week na pag-alis at paggimik, kung inipon ko, malamang makapal na ang laman ng bulsa ko. Malamang sa OO nakapagtayo na ako ng sarili kong negosyo.

Hindi ko naman sinasabing peksman hindi na ko gigimik, iinom, at magsasaya kailanpaman. Ang natutunan ko lang, lahat ng sobra nakakasama, lahat ng umaapaw ay nasasayang.
May panahon pa naman!

Tibok

Love is not always a fairytale

There are people who give so much love to those who don’t love them back

There are some who’s into mutual love but cannot own it because someone already holds the title

There are some people who feel so loved and find out in the end they are fooled

There are some who gave so much love but the others won’t believe because they always consider your past

There are some who received so much love but can’t seem to move on from the previous relationship or the others just want to play game and choose their playmate

Now which story is yours?

Mine, honestly, I dont Know!! But I am open for everyones opinion!

Maestro Bob Ong

Ilan sa mga kasabihan ng paborito kong Pinoy Awtor:

“kung wala kang alam sa buhay ng dalawang tao o kahit pa man may alam ka sa isa sa kanila, wala ka pa rin sa tamang lugar para lagyan ng kahulugan ang mga kilos nila”

“Pag pinag-aagawan ka, malamang maganda o gwapo ka. Sumama ka sa mabuti, di sa mabait. Sa marunong, di sa matalino. Sa mahal ka, di sa gusto ka.”

“Ang pag- ibig parang imburnal..nakakatakot mahulog, at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka.”

“Ang tenga kapag pinagdikit korteng puso.. Extension ng puso ang tenga kaya kapag marunong kang makinig, marunong kang magmahal”

“Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”

“Kung dalawa mahal mo, piliin mo ang pangalawa,kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo na talaga ang una”

“mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng isang tao, lalo na kung hindi ikaw ang bida sa script na pinili niya”

“Kapag di ka mahal ng taong mahal mo, huwag kang magreklamo. Kasi, may mga tao rin na hindi mo mahal pero mahal ka kaya quits lang.”

“Parang elevator lang yan eh. bakit mo pagsisiksikan yung sarili mo kung wala ng pwesto para sayo, eh meron namang hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”

“hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo, meron lang talagang taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”

“pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo na..malay mo sa mga susunod na araw, ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang”

“Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya.”

“walang taong manhid…hindi niya lang talaga maintindihan kung ano ang gusto mong iparating dahil ayaw mo siyang diretsuhin..”

“kahit ikaw ay parang bato na manhid at walang pakiramamdam, mag ingat-ingat ka naman, dahil kahit ganyan ka, hindi nasasaktan, kaya mo namang makasakit”

“Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanansa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”

“Kung matatakot kang harapin ang totoo at sabihin ang talagang nararamdaman dahil baka masaktan ka, isa lang ibig sabihin nun, ipinagkait mo na sa sarili mo ang pagiging masaya, at kinarir mo ng magpakatanga.”

“Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sayo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito, wag mong hintayin yung araw na sakit na lang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.”

“Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.”

“Ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ka dapat magmahal ng dalawang tao sa parehong panahon ay katulad ng kung bakit hindi ka pwede magsuot ng sapatos na hindi magkapares sa parehong oras.posible pero pangit tignan.”

“Minsan, para ka palang nagmahal ng pader. habang mas pinagdidiinan mong itulak ang sarili mo, mas nasasaktan ka. pero siya, ‘di pa rin natitinag.”

“kahit anong bagal mo kung di ka naman niya gustong habulin, hindi ka niya maaabutan.. kahit mag stop over ka pa.”

“Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”

“Ang tao, aminado naman yan sa mga kasalanan nila..pero kung lalo mo pang ipapamukha sa kanila na mali sila, lalo mo lang silang binibigyan ng dahilan para iwanan ka..”

“Kung ang tinapay nga na iniwan mo sa mesa may kumukuha, yun pa kayang mga bagay na mas mahalaga sa’yo?..wala nang nagtatagal sa panahong ito at kung may iiwan ka, siguraduhin mong hindi na iyon mahalaga..”

“Sa kolehiyo, madaming impluwensiya ang makikita, masama o mabuti man ito..wag isisi sa thesis partner o sa kaibigan ang lahat kung bakit nasira ang baga mo sa pagyoyosi, nasira ang atay mo sa kakainom at kung bakit nagkaroon ka agad ng pamilya..kung talagang matino kang tao, kahit sino pang tarantado ang kasama mo ay maitutuwid mo pa rin ang daanang tatahakin mo..”

“Hindi naman iiyak ang mundo para lang sa isang tao.”

I really love to read his Books (Kumpleto ako!), hindi lang dahil marami akong napupulot na aral at napapasaya ako ng kanyang mga akda, kundi dahil napapabilib ako ng kanyang istilo upang pukawin ang imahinasyon ng kanyang mga mambabasa. Kung paano nya nagagawang patutukin ang isang tao na tapusin sa isang upo ang kanyang mga akda.

Malalim ang pinagsamahan namin ng mga libro ni Bob Ong. Isa ito sa mga naging sandalan ko noong panahong pakiramdam ko mag-isa ako!

CineMan Presents—Notes on a Scandal

Main Cast:

Judy Dench—Barbra Covett
Cate Blanchett—Sheba Hart


Barbra Covett is a veteran and cynical schoolteacher who is close to retirement. She is barely tolerated by her less brilliant and acerbic colleagues who know nothing about her private life which consists mainly of taking care of Portia, her aging cat, and spending countless hours alone. The only means she has found to take the edge off her desperate loneliness is writing in her journal. When Sheba Hart, a younger, attractive woman, joins the faculty as an art teacher, Barbra watches her from afar and has nothing but caustic things to say in her diary about her clothing and her care-free manner. Despite her disdain for this woman, Barbra finds herself reaching out to her. Sheba responds by inviting her to dinner at her house to meet Sheba's lecturer husband, who is twenty years her senior, and their two children, a sexy and rebellious 16-year-old daughter and a younger boy with Down Syndrome. Instead of opening herself to these people, Barbra immediately sees them as competition to be beaten in the battle for Sheba's attention. Later, when Barbra discovers her new friend in a classroom having sex with Steven, a 15-year-old from the school who has artistic talent; she realizes that knowledge of this secret gives her power over Sheba which she can use for her own purposes. Barbra promises not tell anyone but insists that the affair must end immediately. Sheba says she will but finds herself drawn back to the boy again and again. Sheba seems uneasy with Barbra’s friendship and is appalled when she discovers the older woman might have a sexual interest in her. The tenuous relationship between the two women reaches a crisis point when Barbra’s cat is dying and she asks Sheba to go with her to the vet. She chooses to go with her family to see their son in a play instead. In revenge, Barbra sets in motion the scandal that will rock both their lives in ways they never imagined.

It is weird how I find this movie a very entertaining film.

Notes on a Scandal is so unusually enjoyable. Its amusement in its own heartlessness, the approach that the characters are form, shattered, and revived by something other than the common qualities of people, e.g. Barbra's overpowering hold and wants on Sheba, Sheba's bizarre need to her minor student. (sigh!) and Barbra’s cruel plot to get that something from Sheba the thing that she does not have.

Sad....How the toxicity of loneliness affects our way of thinking.

Barbra’s attraction for Sheba is more than sexual, and extremely distant from sentimental. Those momentary touches she steals from Sheba are evidence of her venerable sterility; her real love affair is with herself and her private diaries where she is ultimately the hero, the knight in shining armor of those trapped in the lifelessness of the modern world, where everything is augmented to appear bigger, greater and more important than what it really is. This movie has really nothing to say on the situation of homosexual affairs, negative or not. (That is my analysis!)

It is true that:
One woman’s secret is another woman’s power. One woman’s fear is another woman’s weapon. One woman’s life is in another woman’s hands.... Pak! Bravo!

Strength

Can I ask you something?

What is friendship? What is the meaning of this relationship?

To Aristotle—“A single soul, dwelling in two bodies”
To Psychologist—“A dynamic, mutual relationship between two individuals. As children become friends, they negotiate boundaries within which both partners function”
To the Sexually Oriented People—“FuBu = Fuc**ing Buddy” Friends with Benefits
To my Bestfriends—“God put us together to be siblings by heart”
To Me—.........

While browsing the Wikipedia I’ve read that there are different types of friendship (now ko lang nalaman na madami pala!) Listed below are the examples for your reference: LoL!

Best friend (or close friend): a person(s) with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend

BFF (“Best Friend Forever”): Slang originally coined on the internet and used primarily in the USA by women to describe a girl friend or close best friend

Acquaintance: a friend, but sharing of emotional ties isn’t present. An example would be a coworker with whom you enjoy eating lunch or having coffee, but would not look to for emotional support

Mate: In the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand, blokes often refer to each other as “mates”, for example, introducing a male friend as their “mate”, or a circle of male friends as 'mates'. In the UK, as well as Australia, this term has begun to be taken up by women as well as men

Bro: In the USA, common term for best friends among men, oftentimes in college or early adulthood

Buddy: In the USA, guys often refer to each other as “buddies”, for example, introducing a male friend as their “buddy”, or a circle of male friends as 'buddies'

Soulmate: the name given to someone who is considered the ultimate, true, and eternal half of the other’s soul, in which the two are now and forever meant to be together

Pen pal: people who have a relationship via postal correspondence. They may or may not have met each other in person and may share either love, friendship, or simply an acquaintance between each other

Internet friendship: a form of friendship or romance which takes place over the Internet

Fruit flies, Fag hag (female), or Fag stag (male): denotes a person (usually heterosexual) who forms deep ties or close friendships with gay men. Men (gay or straight) who have lesbian friends have been referred to lezbros or lesbros. The term has often been claimed by these straight members in gay-straight friendships, however some feel that it is derogatory

Comrade: means “ally”, “friend”, or “colleague” in a military or (usually) left-wing political connotation. This is the feeling of affinity that draws people together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal. Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship

(Andami dba, Kaloka, Pak!)

Back to my Questions…..

We have often wanted answers for it, yet we have never come up with a satisfactory response. This is because this relationship is a mix of beautiful and complex way of thinking, which may not often be described in words. Defining a relationship is never easy, as there are plenty facets to it. However we don't need ample amount of words to make us realize the deep meaning of friendship.

“Being friends means being there for each other at all times, whether it’s good or bad. A friend needs to be very understanding and give each other the benefit of the doubt. Ideally the meaning of friendship is sharing unconditional love for each other. However this is not an ideal world; therefore some form of expectations are allowed, but that has a limit too. The purpose and meaning of friendship is to make life's burdens lighter for our friends and not make them heavier.”

Asking for the meaning of friendship has always been a burning question. However as soon as we meet our friends all these questions get answered automatically. The answer to what is the meaning of friendship lies within our hearts, because true friendship can only be felt, and not expressed. Something so pure and essential is not always visible to the eye, but is felt by the heart.

People like to have friends for different reasons. We have so many friends, (even I has!) but only few are true and will stick to you until the end!. The one who you can count on and make your life worth living. Your own source of STRENGTH.

I have My Bitches, My College Buddies, My Confidant....

How about you?

Devirginized Blogger!

To think and write my first blog has certainly been a weird experience. Like me-on-my-first-time-to-ride-an-airplane feeling. A whole new world of tweeting and blogging is opening up for me and I don't know if I am ready with the “Blogger Blues” that my friends are up to.

Questions popping to my mind
To the basics... What do people blog about? Fashion? Economy? Politics? Love? Ranting? Life experiences in general?

To the more paranoid queries... What if I blog and no one cares with what I have to say? (ouch!) What if I run out of interesting ideas to say on my blog? What if they write negative comments on my blog posts?..... Hay!

I love to read other peoples blog, my friends’ in particular, and I am really affected with what they wrote because it is like they are talking to me when in fact i am just reading their piece, their journey. One of my colleagues told me that to write is different from to put down in writing, to inform not just to form!

Yes, it is scary to tell your experiences and don’t know who are going to know about it. But Ive realized that it is not as bad as it sounds if you will gonna impart your life and let everyone learn and get something from your ordeals. Its not about how strong and lame your blog is, what important is you will leave a part of you to the readers.

If you feel something, share it. If you have ideas, then let everyone know it! Kudos.

So many things coming into my mind, but as of now, Taking so much into consideration, I can officially say that: BLOGGERO na ako!